YES! This happened to me literally yesterday and it hurt even more because I've been actively trying to become more attractive.

I've been putting myself through what is essentially my own personal glow up boot camp. I follow some appearance-related subs that are geared towards people like me, who don't already have a conventionally attractive base but still want to maximize what they have. And I follow some looks rating subs and pay attention to the suggestions that women who look like me get.

I think I have a better handle on my looks now. I got a different haircut. I spent a ton of the Christmas money and gift cards I got from family on things like makeup, hair styling tools, and new clothes so that I can overhaul myself. I cut down on snacks and sugary drinks to lose weight and I've been going to yoga class a couple of times a week. I wear cuter outfits and a little makeup every day (still pretty minimal because I'm still learning and I don't want to look like a clown) and do my hair. And I've been feeling really good about the changes. I feel less homely, less out of place when I'm around very femme women. I know I'll never be a 10, but I also don't have to be a 2. Average or average pretty is good enough. I think that's attainable for me.

Also I've been working on myself emotionally too. Mostly trying to give myself distance from my crush so that I can hopefully get over him.

So yesterday I figured that since it's been a few days since I've talked to my crush because I've been keeping my distance on purpose, it's okay to go say hi to him. I had on a cute top and my hair was all curled and I had done the best job with my makeup so far. I was feeling myself more than I ever have before when I went to find him.

So OF COURSE when I walked over to his business, his girlfriend happened to be there and reality came crashing down on me. Because I had spent an hour getting ready before work but all it took was one look at her to remember that all that effort is never going to be good enough if she and women like her are the standard or the competition.

She looked like she'd just gotten out of the gym or an exercise class or something. She had her hair up in a messy ponytail, she didn't have any makeup on, she was just wearing leggings and a crop top, and she still looked so beautiful and so much more than I will ever be. And of course you could tell my crush was totally focused on her. He had his arm around her, his head tilted down to watch her face while she was talking, they were deep in conversation.

So I just kept going. I can't talk to him when she's around. Not just because I get intimidated and start comparing myself to her but also because no one else really exists to him when she's around anyway. The last time I was there when she showed up, he flat out forgot he had been talking to me and didn't even notice when I gave up and just went back to work.

Of course it gets worse. I didn't want to turn around and go back because if anyone saw, it would be obvious what happened. I walked past them and went to talk to my friend who works right next door to my crush. Guess what happens? My friend wanted to talk about my crush's gf too! She sometimes brings my crush stuff that she baked, and my friend was gushing about that and saying that he wishes his gf would do stuff like that for him sometimes. I'm sure he also wishes his gf was beautiful like that too. It was written all over his face.

It still got even worse. While we were talking, my crush and his gf looked over at us and then turned back to each other and started laughing. I'm pretty sure they know I like him. Also pretty sure it's funny to them because I have no chance at all.

Sorry for the long comment. Your post really resonated with me. "Overpowers" is a great word and "literally nothing to fight against with" is perfect. It feels hopeless. All this effort and I still get overshadowed so easily. It's so unfair.