Trust, for me, is about honesty, not which parts of a human body have touched each other. I understand that it might not work that way for others, but for me personally, it does.

I'm a guy who is in a romantic relationship with a lesbian girl. Yes, I knowingly started dating a girl who is sexually attracted to girls instead of guys. No, we weren't desperate, we really fell in love. We still fit perfectly together romantically, we're close to each other, we love each other. We've even had a pretty intense sex life together over the years, but after a while you both notice that that specific part of your relationship is a bit... broken. Sleeping with a lesbian girl might sound hot to some, but a girl who likes boobs more than dicks just doesn't get very passionate in bed with a guy.

But then you talk about it, fight about it, get confused about it. You eventually conclude that you still love each other intensely, you buy a house together, you even plan to have kids together. Breaking up was an option, but once you get older you notice that some stability in your daily life seems more important. Building up a family with someone you love and share a lot of values with suddenly seems to dwarf the concept of trying to win all the hunting games, the unfounded bursts of jealousy, the fear of being alone and the desperate need to keep your partner under your spell with charming tricks and gifts.

And you realize that sex is awesome and important, but that it doesn't necessarily have to be limited to having monogamous sessions of missionary sex with your significant other. We haven't dated outside of our relationship a lot, we aren't swingers or people sleep around all the time. But it isn't taboo either, the only thing I'd ask for is honesty.

Just wanted to share the idea that not in all relationships partners would consider "affairs" a bad thing.