Ahh... yes, would take a book (or a few books) to detail all the various stresses unique the Black experience. I'm finding that anxiety is ever-present where ever I go - urban vs rural, white vs black spaces, rich vs poor, doesn't seem to matter. I feel out of place in ALL of them.

When a white person asks me what that's like, I often say it's like being a celebrity without the benefits and no ability to disguise yourself. All the attention, stalking, stereotyping, preconceived notions, lies, gossip, overly familiar behavior, people intimidated/afraid of you, etc.

Realized, I find myself overcompensating as a matter of unconscious habit, calculating my behavior, putting people at ease, in essence, selling myself (convincing everyone why they should think I'm just absolutely smart and funny and just wonderful). Why? Why do I bother?

Of course, I know why. What I am also realizing is that this takes energy that white folks simply do not have to expend. They don't have to give a crap what you really think of them. That is a luxury to us.