Hi. I think I should give it a shot at explaining since normally it is received well when someones asks me in person. Forgive the information dump as I am not the best writer.
I will try to be neutral in stating the facts I know, but please excuse my lack of sources. This is the same knowledge that people nitpick to use for their memes, but more condensed. It is widely available online if you look, but my own sources were translated books of original hadith books back in my own home country, and it would be a lot more work than I am willing to do to obtain them again for translation. They are credited and sourced by entire lineages of ‘muhadithin’ which are speakers, commonly considered to be descendants of those closest to the prophet.
However, the Arabic lands which now consists of the Arabic peninsula involving Iraq, Saudi Arabia and other middle eastern countries was very much a tribal land. It was a lot of separate tribes ruled by their tribal chiefs.
Then came the prophet with his mission to spread Islam starting with that region, and while conquest was one of the methods that could be utilized, there were more diplomatic ways available too.
One of them was marriage, hence the multiple wives permitted by Islam. If a tribal chief or influential figure married the daughter of a chief or influential figure of another tribe, the tribes would be united. At the time. It was a pragmatic method to spread Islam to the other tribes.
The prophet married Aisha when she was extremely young to unite the two tribes they were each from, but did not consummate the marriage until a much later age, where it was appropriate for that time, even in what was Christian lands.
Prophet Muhammad’s first wife Khadijah was a powerful woman who was 20 years older than him, he did not marry anyone else until after her death. He also dissolved many misogynistic rules around the period before him, one of which was the socially accepted law where parents can kill or throw away a child that turned our to be a girl.
One of the most important facts today is one that unfortunately the majority of people do not know;
In order for the islamic rules that are considered highly controversial or cruel by many today to be implemented, a Khalifah must exist. The thing is, the by-laws by which a Khalifah can exist have not been met in many CENTURIES.
Meaning all the self proclaimed khalifas are false today, and that the countless cruel attacks they head on LGBTQ or others are not accepted by Islam. Without a khalifah (which permits conquests and war to spread the religion), Islam is purely a peaceful religion today. Unfortunately, many abuse it to their own benefit, from individuals to pervy figure heads to greedy kings and presidents. Many things that happen in Saudi Arabia are not ok. And ISIS and other extremist groups? They are considered terrorists by the absolute majority of muslims.
Sorry for the long read, if you have any questions let me know!