Have you ever tried sitting on the other side of the desk? I've been a developer for nearly two decades, and I find a lot of hiring managers have a hard time objectively interviewing themselves.

A) What are you ultimately looking for out of your technical interview?

I'm assuming you placed something reasonable on here, like finding the greatest prime factor of a number, or a fizz buzz of some sort. If you're putting trivia about the stuff you're working on in the hopes of weeding out people that get it wrong, you're weeding out a population that has potential but isn't quite there.

B) Do you offer soft perks?

Flex time and remote work come to mind here. Personally, if you offer a competitive salary and allow me to work as I want to work, you go straight to the top of the list. I don't care about crap that is going to keep me in the office, I want to see that you want work done, not asses in chairs.

C) You're right, we're a bunch of whiny, prissy, high-maintenance assholes.

Realistically, development skill is not the bell curve that you had hoped. Today, for every 30 people graduating with a Computer Science degree, there is 1 person who actually gets it. You think you're asking for someone in the middle of the bell curve, but the curve is skewed left. You're asking for someone in the middle of the graph.

And that is twice what experienced cops or teachers I know make who bust their asses

It's a sweet sentiment that you know hardworking people that don't get paid enough, but a skilled developer is in far greater demand over a cop that has worked the beat for 20 years or a teacher that is nearing retirement.

The round-about thing I'm trying to say here is, you seem to hold the notion that "pappy said workers are disposable, so that's how it is." In an interview, I'm going to try and joke around a little to see what you're about. I may ask about things in the office to get conversation going. If you blink your eyes at me and return to your paper to ask questions, you've disqualified yourself entirely.

What the hell does it take to get y'all to care?

Show me in an interview you're willing to go the extra mile, and I won't have a problem doing the same.