It's pretty rare that I get angry. Most things don't seem like they'll make much difference in the grand scheme of things, so whatever.

I think I adopted this sort of attitude towards negativity and strife when I used to be into martial arts. Because we had a mantra of "it's just another toughening drill" which we applied to everything. Floor floats on the grass until the skin on your elbows rip off? It's just another toughening drill. Propping yourself against a tree to brace yourself for punches from every member of the class? Well, obviously iron man drills...are just another toughening drill.

All these shitty things became linked to positive results, the first real changes I saw in my body. So I began to welcome difficult situations, because difficult situations brought growth.

Sure enough, the mantra bled into other aspects of my life. And while I don't practice with those guys anymore, the mantra has become an automatic reaction. Something that requires patience and makes me want to squirm? It's just another toughening drill. My living situation gets fucked up and I need to move? It's just another toughening drill. I'm working 90 hours a week and only sleeping 4-6 hours a night? Those three weeks will pass; it's just another toughening drill.

You center yourself, find your zone, and work though the situation. Get through the drill.

Because it is so rare that I am angry, in the situations where it overcomes every attempt to soothe it with working a situation, rationalizing other possible points of view, seeking counsel from others, or just plain bottling it until it dissipates... I give it one last shot to be gone through an aggressive workout.

Once I'm beyond that point, I trust that emotion completely as a sign that I need to extract myself from whatever toxin got me there. I do this in whatever means is most thorough and least attention grabbing if the only person affected is me. If I'm angry about the mistreatment of a friend, then I'm ready to pull whatever strings necessary to fuck that person over. Surgical precision justice. But I give the friend the say on whether or not I go forward. People have the right to fight their own battles in the way they think is best.

Anyway, I put that last paragraph in there because we all lose it sometimes. And sometimes anger isn't just an emotion you need to "deal with". It's a justifiable, internal alarm that something fucked up is happening, and nothing short of some fucking action is acceptable. Hell, I can't tell you if the problem is with the environment, or the person themselves, but anger is the body demanding change.