[MAJOR-GENERAL] I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot o' news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
[CHORUS] With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse! With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse! With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoten-potenuse!
[MAJOR-GENERAL] I'm very good at integral and differential calculus I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General
[CHORUS] In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
[MAJOR-GENERAL] I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes! Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
[CHORUS] And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore! And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore! And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pina-Pinafore!
[MAJOR-GENERAL] Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General
[CHORUS] In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral He is the very model of a modern Major-General!
[MAJOR-GENERAL] In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin" When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat" When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee
[CHORUS] You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee! You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee! You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a, sat a gee!