[Discussion] Essay-kun's whereabouts

Essay-kun is alive, his comment needed to wait for moderation. Here's a copy of what he said about episode 14:

["First off can we appreciate the fact that White Fox made this episode 26 minutes long so that they could fit in more content? Ok? Good!

First off I got to say that I really really like the OP. While this obviously very subjective it’s also superior in the way it foreshadows certain aspects of this arc.

What we can see clearly is that the ending scene of episode 13 is a majorly important moment for this entire arc. The OP even recalls it and shows how Subaru and Emilia’s relationship is crumbling.

I won’t go in on the rest of the OP since this involved future events and well we don’t need to know that yet.

Throughout the entire episode Subaru doesn’t do a magical 180 in the way he approaches or sees things ( that would have been a bit too fast and not realistic honestly ). In reality he has a fight within himself, no he is actually developing towards psychopathy. On the one side the words of Emilia resonate in his head and keep bringing him down to reality but on the other side Subaru lives in denial towards the truth. This clearly show us that this whole obsession with Emilia is no mere quirk in his personality no it actually has reached a scale where you can call it a mental illness. He rejects anything that goes against his own truth and even the people themselves. He interprets others' attempts at trying to keep him safe as shortsighted or that they think nothing of him. And not only that, he justifies it all by reasons that no one else will ever trust. No one can believe in that or even cares enough about Emilia to be her ally. Note how every person who tried to talk against his own beliefs got majorly rejected by him. Reinhard…Kadomon ( Apple merchant ), Crusch & Ferris and at last Rem. Personally I love that development or rather the negative development as this is how humans are sometimes, especially in a mentally unstable condition. They become stubborn and don’t give up on their belief until they have to pay a price for it. Of course this is taken to an extreme level in anime but it replicates a natural development. I could also notice how at numerous times the circumstances fueled his delusional determination. The talk with Crusch was taken the wrong way which could be seen at the smile he had. And then the information about Emilia being assaulted by someone or something. This was the last bit of oil to the fire. The crazy smile showcases this. Over the course of the show Emilia has become an obsession to him. Not because he has the hots for her but because she is literally his safe haven that keeps him sane. All his struggle is for Emilia. He was saved only by Emilia. He wants to stay by Emilia’s side. I believe that ever since Emilia gave him the opportunity to cry out on her lap in episode 8 he connected to her in a very dangerous and unhealthy way. Remember how Subaru said that he thought Emilia would be the one to understand him? He thinks that because she listened to him and seemed to understand him in that particular scene.

I also love how they portrait the severity of his mental state throughout the episode. For example once Rem agreed to basically anything Subaru said he started to give himself compliments, pushing himself.

Well eventually Rem proved why she is best girl at the moment. She knew that it would only cause more trouble if Subaru was with Emilia right now so she put him to sleep and left without him. Once Subaru realizes that he even starts to reject Rem, even saying that he will abandoning her like she abandoned him. Of course this is just all talk as he would never be able to actually do that and we see that.

Before he reaches the village he is surrounded by the same guys that attacked Rem & Ram’s village, the witch cult. But instead of attacking him, they bow to him like he is superior to them.

Anyway what I’m getting at is the village scene which is actually even more crushing when you recall episode 5, 9, 10 and 12.

All the people that welcomed Subaru with such a warmth are now brutally slaughtered. Re-watch the scene and you’ll recognize some people. The burned arm with the bracelet that reaches out of the burned hill of corpses is the old granny that appeared in episode 9. We can see the village leader who he was all bros with. Hell you can even see Petra, the girl with the blond hair and the red tie in her hair. We found out in episode 9 that Subaru knows them all by their name, what they want to be, and what’s special about them. Now this side-effect of „Return by death“ becomes a curse.

You can actually see when Subaru opens the door the first time how there is a corpse sitting in the chair but Subaru just stares at it and closes the door. The second door he opens bumps against a corpse. You can hear the foot steps walking through blood. In these very first seconds Subaru lives in denial to what actually has happened here. He started to develop some sort of escapism but got knocked out of it once he physically interacted with one of the corpses and perceived the horror around him completely. And look at how he recalls Rem and immediately searches for her "I’ll abandon you as well" my a** Subaru. All in all this only shows how broken he already was before he got there.

And then he finds her, crucified in the garden, brutally killed. Welcome to arc 3 ladies and gentleman. This is only the start of the wild ride so take some tissues with you."](/ln)

/r/Re_Zero Thread