I am bisexual physically, but emotionally homosexual. This means that while I enjoy sex with both men and women, I find it very difficult to connect emotionally with women.
I would say that I don't have sex for the orgasm. In fact, it's nearly impossible for me to have an orgasm during sex. I'm too busy processing my partner's reactions, making sure that I'm not missing the nonverbal cues. I'm never "in the moment". It's impossible for me to get to the place where I enjoy the pleasure sex brings other people.
95% of the time, after my partner has been satisfied, I finish myself off by hand. This has led to some of my partners feeling inadequate or unattractive, which has lost me those partners. Also, I have no outward appearance of pleasure. I don't groan, I don't have facial expressions. The only time I'm more focused is when I am solving a programming puzzle.
When I was younger and in very good shape, I'd generally have a new female partner every year, and new male partners whenever (pretty much) I pleased. At first it was interesting. Then it was something I did because I thought it just was what people did. After some painful experiences, I became wary of doing it just for fun and tried to create some emotional context for lovemaking. I found out quickly that I look ANY tools for creating an emotionally satisfying relationship for my partner. I could fake it for a while, basically by doing whatever I saw people in movies and TV do. But a few months is all I can manage before the "stone face" comes back and I revert back to who I really am.
Every five years or so, I try again. But when I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that I have zero idea who would be a good long-term partner for me. Possibly no one. I think Groucho Marx said it best. "I won't join any club that'll have me as a member".
Or possibly the converse: "The clubs that I'm interested in won't have me as a member."
In porn, I enjoy looking at what would, by society's standards, be considered "beautiful" bodies (male or female). However, in person, "beautiful" (or "handsome") is strikingly low on my priority list. First on my list is intelligence. I find intelligent people INSANELY attractive. Listening to a smart person talk is foreplay to me. I get literally breathless when learning new ways of thinking or looking at things. John Carmack, to me, is sexier by a THOUSAND miles than Brad Pitt. Second is their honesty. I feel nothing for people who lie to me, even in saving my feelings. I find it nearly impossible to lie. I find it impossible to lie convincingly. To feel safe, I need to be able to trust my sexual partner to do the same with me.
Smart, trustworthy, and willing to touch the naked body of a grossly overweight man who has trouble achieving orgasm. Opportunities to find such a person are RARE in this world. Rarer still are people who have those qualities AND are attracted to an (outwardly) emotionally unavailable man with social deficits and a too-literal mind.
Anyway, I've gone on too long. Hope this was... I don't know. Informative?