I tend to feel that "Intense world theory" of autism applies to my experience and that also explains why I feel generally miserable. Everything just feels like too much, all the time, and the older I get the more exhausted I feel. I love people, but my special interest for years without even realizing it was human behavior so now everyone I come across seems fucked up and I'm so tired. Masking now means I get to play stupid most of the time because I pretty much analyze everyone, all the time, and I'm obsessed with psychology, sociology, philosophy, ... even cognitive science - And I see no way "out" now. The world is fucked up and it's so clear to me. People with addictions are hurt and hiding - the world hates them. Poverty is a form of trauma - and people look down on them. People with money scream out that it doesn't bring happiness because they're also miserable - and nobody wants to listen. You can't complain about things if other people want them. Many people need to put people on a pedestal to feel hopeful that they can do better one day.... the list goes on and on and everyone is just painfully sad, especially with age. That's also obviously why our society is absolutely obsessed with youth. Ugh.