I dont understand anymore. No matter how good I feel or how hopeful I feel, The universe keeps fucking my life into NOTHING. I cannot take it anymore this doesn't make sense!

it tells me to keep pursuing my acting, because i feel like I was put on this earth to act and I will be epic one day, but I feel like a fucking lunatic to keep doing that when I'm literally dead broke, have debt, and don't know how I'm going to pay my rent in 3 weeks. I stopped smoking pot a week ago and I've spend every single day since just taking care of myself non stop, today was a relapse as I just woke up in depression, but i've felt pretty good this week focusing on just taking care of myself, eating food and feeling full, taking hot baths mutliple times a day, masterbating multiple times a day, and just doing what I need to do to just feel OK for once. and i feel like it helped. i actually just got a phone call for a small part in a 48 film shoot this weekend that I had submitted for, so that awesome right? but I still have no idea how i'm going to pay my bills and I looking for signs really just confuses me, i don't feel like i see signs I feel like everything just contradicts everything and I end up trying to create signs / meaning where there isn't just becuase I'm desperate for some kind of validation of my choices / feelings! i appreciate your response i really do

/r/lawofattraction Thread Parent