I’m a bit late to the party but thought I’d chime in because I dated a girl who was unofficially diagnosed (Her therapist said that’s what he would diagnose IF he were to officially diagnose her) with BLPD a few months before we broke up.

She was one of the sweetest people you’d ever meet. Very caring towards kids (She teaches ballet), full time student, works 30 hours a week, just all around well-loved by everyone that didn’t know her very well.

We were very, very close and things were great for the most part. I caught her lying about a few things but brushed it off because she was otherwise perfect.

She was severely sexually abused as a child which is what spurred the issues I’m about to describe. I almost thought she was actually a psychopath but I do believe she has true love and empathy for her students which means she’s not, but she ticks about every line on the psychopath diagnosis.

Anyway, one weekend she’s dragging me to Kay Jewelers to look at rings because she is so excited about our future and I was very up for the idea of getting engaged. The next weekend I was nothing to her. Nothing happened, just out of the blue. She met some guy at her new job who’s literally a cashier making minimum wage and ten years older than her. He played the guitar and could sing, which is what I’ve narrowed down the reason for her attraction to him. Literally a nobody with no future but he’s artistic and has a very outgoing personality.

I was close with her best friend so the night she left me out of the blue I went and talked to her friend so I could try to understand things at the time. Come to find out she’s cheated on me multiple times with no condom (Part of the risky behavior mentioned in other posts, very intelligent girl who knows better so this was absolutely caused by the BLPD). She’d convinced her friends I knew about it and was fine with it which is why no one ever brought it up. Also turns out she made up lies about all her female friends to make sure I wasn’t attracted to them, like telling me they’re all extremely promiscuous, making up other accusations of their character, etc.

After the breakup I was pretty devastated and trying to work things out (because I’m an idiot). She treated me like I murdered her family. Spun things on me, said I was awful, this is my fault, etc. just extremely low effort manipulative behavior. I treated her like an angel the entire time we were together. I know most people can’t identify their own faults but I truly did and that was confirmed by the fact that a lot of her friends disowned her but still talk to me two years later.

I guess the best way to describe this person would be that they exhibit extremely narcissistic behavior but do it unintentionally and have no concept of right or wrong. Extreme mood swings that are situational but in my situation turned into a permanent mood against me.

Also worth noting that once it became clear that I would not be able to convince her to seek therapy/medication and there was no chance of us getting back together I went no-contact and she started stalking all of my social media and had very obsessive behavior even though she was dating her new boyfriend. When I finally went no contact, fake Instagrams would pop up nonstop to watch my stories (Easily identifiable because I know her common passwords and all the fake profiles were mixtures of extremely uncommon numbers/words she used in them). I alerted my far back ex girlfriend and others about this and they found that she was religiously watching all their social media stories too. Not passively, but actively going to people’s profiles like once an hour to view things for months. At that point some one called her out on it and she finally went no contact too. That was the most perplexing to me, this obsession with me after essentially kicking me to the curb like I was nothing.

Even after reading the definition and symptoms of this disorder a lot of it still makes no sense and I do not have closure more than two years later. I miss her and really hope she’s doing okay.