Ah, chef at home syndrome, maybe mixed with some deeper issues.

I was going to say that a lot of women think they're great at oral sex because no one ever dares to say otherwise, but that does not sound like the case with you.

You should absolutely be able to expect a certain amount of oral, yourself - granted that any arrangement is up for negotiation (eg: relationships where she never gives head but he apparently doesn't mind is perfectly acceptable so long as all parties are being honest). But it shouldn't be a chore for him, should it? Let me tell you a short story.

I was in a relationship for many years with a selfish partner. She had lots of great qualities, but generosity was not among them. This affected everything, from meals to massages to most definitely sex. The worst part was that I love giving pleasure. It's so easy and fun! Let's take massages - I love giving them! But when you give and never get, you go through this terrible experience of losing that enjoyment, too. First, continuing on and just hoping things will change, maybe it's just a bad patch. Then of course communicating your displeasure. This person means well; surely things will change now. Then slowly tapering off giving massages despite enjoying it, hoping this will provide sufficient motivation so that we can get back to a place of generosity. And finally: nada. No more massages. It would be less painful if you just felt you were losing out on receiving them, but no, you lose both sources of pleasure, and all the bonding they brought.

It's a rough spot to be in, and the only way out for me was out of the relationship, because it was her nature. Now I'm with a generous partner and we're deliriously happy - mutual footrubs while watching TV, full-on massages when someone is having trouble sleeping or had a rough day or just because, great meals made with care even if sometimes the experiments don't work out, and lots and lots of great sex.

What I would suggest to you is this. Try to communicate what's at stake with your man, give him the chance to change the dynamic, but then take a long look at the situation and ask yourself if it just isn't in his nature. One way or another, it doesn't have to be like this.

I wish you the best of luck.