You sound exactly like me. I started out amab calling myself "agender" because I really didn't feel at home on either end of the binary, but it didn't feel right... after experimentation with phytoestrogens while trying to become more gender ambiguous I discovered that a few femme traits were really nice, but I couldn't find any masc traits that I felt at home with, like zero (other than my junk, but now it's a girldick so it doesn't even count...) I'm still not definitively on the far end of the femme spectrum internally, but I learned that I really needed get as much of the boy out of me as possible (hopefully all of it at some point) to feel okay and I started actual HRT. That was 11 months ago. I have a long way to go yet, but I'm extremely happy so far with the changes, better skin, receded hair regrowth, boobs, etc. I tell people that I'm a woman and that my pronouns are she/her for the sake of simplicity and because even though they don't feel totally right, they still feel more validating than anything on the other end of the binary. If I can ever get to where I pass as female at least most of the time, I plan on going to they/them pronouns and toning down the "high femme" presentation stuff to "flannel gay" where my heart actually lives... it's just what I know I that need to do deep down, a process I need to go through, like a rebirth. I guess my advice is, keep experimenting and you'll find yourself by figuring out what feels right as you experience it, even if it doesn't evolve in a linear fashion, you'll still get there.