I worried about this "grandparents rights" stuff myself as I have a 3 year old. She never threatened to take me to court, but she did say "I have a right to see my grandson." Here's a link if you are in the US http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparents-rights/grandparent-rights-united-states. I have found the very best thing is to get the hell way, fast. The main thing I try to worry about today is what kind of a parent I am being, and it is loads easier without having to constantly placate my nMom. For example, we'd be out somewhere and she'd get irritated if we needed to stop to eat, go look at toys in a store, etc. But would be fine to look at shower curtains and coffee pots for 45 min, then get irritated because my then 2 year old was being "bratty". She never had the thought, wow he must be hungry/tired etc, because she was the only one who mattered.
You can heal if you get away, and automatically become a better mother. It's so much easier to clean up the past when new garbage is not being thrown on top of it on a daily basis. I had to eliminate the source of the garbage, or trying to work on myself was about as useless as brushing my teeth while trying to eat oreos. Just the relief of the toxic flow stopping was great for me. My frustration level has dropped so much and now I can easily handle the task caring for a small child. And now can I work to get better, which automatically makes me a better mother.
Try not to worry about the "grandparent's rights" bullshit. Those laws are for real grandparents, to protect the relationship with their grandchildren in a divorce, death, etc. Not ones who couldn't even take care of their own kids, and certainly not ones who continue to abuse adult children. The common theme from what I read is the judge rules for the best interest of the child, and in these types of cases, that's a no-brainer.
So she pretends to understand but she is lying.
yep, this happened all time to us. I've been NC 2 times before this and was hooked back in, so if she feels me pulling away, she knows what's coming. In the past she cranked up the nasty, but it caused me to NC. So now, it's "I know I've been wrong, I want to make amends, etc. etc. etc." This is just what I want to hear, and she knows it. So, what it is, is manipulation to produce desired result. Then, when she gets me back, she gets promises for no more NC (since she's trying so hard) favors, attention, etc. Then things go bad very slowly, she gradually cranks up the nasty. Then before I know it, I'm back where I was or worse. This time, I caught on before the nasty got too bad, and severed the relationship yet again.
I got some good advice for depression here Doing these things like making sure I am eating and sleeping, and taking walks in the evening has really, really helped. It sounds dumb, but for years if I was hungry, no one cared. So, I walk around hungry sometimes not realizing it, then, I get more and more depressed, stressed, etc. It's so so good to be able to be in a store, smell popcorn, and go get me a bag. Lol, these are the simple pleasures of adulthood that are now mine.
hang out with us on here, post when needed, and CUT HER OFF. Then give it a month or so and watch the clouds lifting from around you. I'm there right now, and it's very good. It doesn't have to be hopeless, and we aren't trapped like we were as kids. Hang in there and check back if you need to.