With the Model S and X at least, charging to 100% daily and leaving it sitting around at 100% tends to result in a dead battery around 200k miles. 95% will last a lot longer than 100%, and 90% a lot longer than 95%.

Don't be afraid of 90% charges. Heck, in your situation I'd personally charge to 95% daily in the winter. And maybe 100% on a really cold day. Remember that it's not so much the "charging to 100%" that's bad - the worst aspect is actually leaving it sitting around at 100% overnight every night.

What wheels / tires are you on? Obviously they have a very large impact on your energy consumption. Especially given that you're doing a fast commute. I'll never get all of the people who choose, say, an M3P with 20" wheels and then complain about the energy consumption at highway speeds. It's like... dude, you did this to yourself. ;)

How much charge did you arrive home with? In general, the shorter the trip, the higher the per-mile energy consumption.