I also find Pride events inherently kind of depressing. The celebratory and happy atmosphere surrounding it feels almost disingenuous to me, I think in part because of how much we struggle growing up gay. I'm only 23, I grew up in a fairly liberal and accepting family in the U.K. but still I found growing up very difficult, in part because of my sexuality. I've struggled a lot with my mental health as a direct result of being gay. Every time I try to bring up the fact that that those struggles are at least part of the reason Pride is needed in the first place, I get accused of being overly negative.
But we're a community that has come together as a reaction to stigma and adverse experiences, and still I feel there's an expectation to ignore and push out these experiences themselves during Pride, and act like everything is fine, and has always been fine, which is completely opposed to what Pride is in the first place.
Sometimes I just want someone to acknowledge that actually, life as a gay man in society is a bit shit, albeit slightly less shit than it was before. And it's okay to feel like that, and we don't have to force ourselves to not feel shit. And not pretending to be 'happy' with our lives as LGBT people doesn't necessarily mean we're 'self-hating gays' or 'ungrateful to those who struggled in the past.' Our reaction to homophobia and growing up feeling like we should hate ourselves doesn't necessarily have to be a party or celebration.