I've been with several guys over the years with herpes and I've never caught it. Here's what I've learned:
You can get blood work done to show if you have herpes anti bodies. Make sure you get the test for both strains. It's a little bit pricier, but if it helps your piece of mind, do it. You may have been born with it too. I read a study this week that found that children who contract herpes in utero, have the virus in their genes, and it sometimes can be dormant for a very long time, if not indefinitely.
Dormancy is a key thing with herpes. Some people carry the virus and never have an outbreak. You can contract it and it can lay dormant for months or years before you finally have an outbreak. That's why you can't go based off of only your recent sex life.
As far as medication and managing it (if you definitely have it), you really don't have to take the medication all the time. It does help shorten the outbreak period, so save it for that. The first several outbreaks are the worst. If you can keep your stress levels in check, and maintain a strong immune system, the outbreak probably won't be too frequent. Also, my doctor said the medication has been shown to prevent contracting herpes for people who don't have it. He gave me a prescription, but I never used it.
I've dated several guys with herpes and have never gotten it myself (yet). The key is communication. I value a man who doesn't hide from his "demons." My boyfriend can feel when an outbreak is coming on (he has it in his mouth), so we just avoid doing mouth stuff for a few weeks during the transmission period. 4 years in and I'm still infection free.
I know it a shock right now, but you'll be fine, trust me :-)