Ellen, I have a 15yo that has no desire for school. Does not complete any work in class and come home I'll prepared for homework (doesn't bring books home, doesn't have any of the papers, fucked off in class and doesn't understand the material at all). It's been happening since he was in third grade. Smart child, would always get high marks on tests but grades slipped because he never would do the work. I tried homeschooling because at the end of the day, his teachers would send home everything from school that he didn't do, plus homework and I'd be stuck teaching him the material all night anyway. He was terribly lazy when at home. Could not ever trust him to do any work unless you literally sit there and walk him through it step by step 100% of the time. I've tried therapy, adhd medication, got an iep for extra services in school, nothing has ever helped. He hasn't passed a single class in years. Not one. Every teacher, counselor, therapist, etc has told me they have never seen someone so unmotivated.

I'm very concerned for his future. The people here going "I got it together at 18" make me want to have hope although I don't think I should. I know it's not cool to be down on your kids but I don't see many chance of him doing a 180 and being responsible as an adult. He seeks immediate gratification. Steals and lies to no end, destroys family property, abuses his siblings, catfishes people on the Internet and has never completed a chore in his life without needing 8 hours and constant reminders to do something like load a dishwasher. How the hell is any boss going to put up with him taking a full day to do 10min of work? Where the hell does he think he's going to live? He's gay and the way he acts out I'm afraid he will be a cheap hooker and end up sick or dead or on drugs. Sometimes you really do everything for a kid and it doesn't work. Sometimes you have to say, I did my best and I love him but it's his life to fuck up. My most important thing is that at 18 he needs to be self sufficient. I will not deal with this behavior from an adult. I will not support his lazy, entitled behavior any more than is legally necessary.

I know how bad it sucks to deal with this. I know how hard it is to see wasted potential in a child you love. It's a disappointment I didn't ever expect.