It’s an accidental habit of mine to spend today on his work. I listen to his songs, I watch his videos, I read lyrics and quotes from blue night. I look at all the wonderful things people post here. I think about the impact he had on my life, the inspiration he still often is. As I get older I’m starting to think about my age marching closer to his, the work I have done in my own life thus far. I hesitate to say this, because of course I hardly know him, but the two of us seem quite similar. His songs were the songs I would always relate to the most, and his words both give me strength and tear my heart apart.

What has haunted me most is that I walk a familiar path. In 2017 today was so horribly devastating. In 2018 the pain was raw and the remembering new. But by now the words I read I have read three times before. The songs I listen to are tied up in old grief and memories and moments of joy. Even my thoughts on his life are worn and well-traveled. It feels like I have grown a tradition. Everything is bittersweet.