The first one was small-medium, maybe 20 engineers in various departments at our office along with 10 drafters or so. My second company was microscopic. 5 engineers and a manager with 2 drafters. The whole office was like 10 people.

There is nowhere to hide and everyone can keeps tabs on everyone else just because you are all on top of each other constantly. Also the expectation at these places is that you have to do everything. There is no job description because the work has to get done and there are very few people to work on it so you end up doing stuff way outside your comfort zone with little support.

I have tried to get a job at a larger company but no luck so far. Its no that I want to hide at a place like that, but I want to have more structure. A job where they don't switch up your fundamental responsibilities/tasks just because an unusual project came in. At my first job, they literally took me from being a marine engineer to being a full out structural engineer. Like I just stopped doing marine work half way through. Then I worked as an undergrad engineer in a different discipline on a team of masters structural guys. If they had hired directly for that role I would never have been considered. I couldn't keep up and got laid off.

Also I find that at these small companies in particular, the engineering manager is really just an engineer who approves vacation time. Really smart people, but zero actual management skills when it comes to leading or mentoring people, especially the new ones. There were days when my most recent manager would come out of his office, stop at everyones desk for a check in except for mine and then go back. I arguably needed the most attention. He chose to be only reactive. He never spoke with me about my problems until they were going to fire me. Not a word for three months, then boom, shape up or your out. Two weeks later I was out.