I’ll be 19 soon, never really lost someone close to me before. My grandma who I’ve always been really close to and still consider one of my best friends was diagnosed with ALS, and at this rate I think she’s probably got 6 months.

I really want to go see her more, but everytime I do it hurts so bad. Seeing her in that condition, getting worse every day and struggling to do basic things makes me physically sick. It reminds me that she’s going to be gone soon and I don’t know how to handle that feeling. And in the meantime I’m wasting time that I should be spending with her and I know I’ll regret when she’s gone. Fucking hate myself