All societies attempt to control people in some form. It's a spectrum.

In a freer society both men and women can express themselves as they wish. In a democratic society you won't always agree with how people choose to express themselves. That's how it works.

It is more authoritarian societies that become obsessed with enforcing certain gender ideals. For example look at the cultural attitudes enforced by the CCP in China where they outlaw "feminized" actors/artists because they think it will make men weak(militarism is a part of this).

https://www.npr.org/2021/09/02/1033687586/china-ban-effeminate-men-tv-official-morality

That isn't the behavior of a healthy society, but the behavior of a scared elite that desires to control its population. Notice how in a more free society we can actually express ourselves more freely. In an authoritarian society they literally TELL YOU what a man is supposed to be. There's a difference between some people in a democracy having different ideas versus an autocratic government enforcing its ideal.

US society is radically taking women's freedoms away by overturning Roe v Wade. But you perceive this society is controlling men. Are you sure? All because some women said things you did not like, versus actual governmental systems enforcing their ideology on women all across the country. Who is being controlled more? Who now has significantly less control over themselves and their bodies?