How do sociopaths feel when they realize they're sociopaths?

Before answering your question, I want to state a fact that most people here are already aware of. Almost every single person on /r/sociopath and /r/psychopath that is either self-diagnosed or believes the diagnosis fits him because he was weird, aggressive or cold during its life is delusional in a way or another. Feel free to downvote me out of anger, but I hope one day you realize how lucky you are.

I never had a clue something was so fundamentally different with me. Then I reached a point where I was manipulating a psychiatrist with decades of experience to rule out my own diagnosis and getting access to the mood stabilizing meds. Only then, after mood stabilizers ruled out my own hypothesis, I came across personality disorders and psychopathy.

I didn't see it at first, of course. But the more I read, the more I realized there were actions performed during my life that were way out of hand, even since the age of 5 or 6, for which I never ever felt the slightest remorse - a sad example was violence towards animals, along with other more obvious and common ones such as vandalism and other felonies. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It came to a point where I had to discuss it with someone, so I went to my mother. She confirmed a lot of my memories and added further examples of why it might be a possibility.

I went back to the psychiatrist only once. I admitted that I was lying most of the time in our previous meetings and came clean about my doubts and all my previous unmentioned experiences during childhood up to that point. I remember clearly at one point he nodded, and we both understood the situation by then. But he was professional and he said that even though it was almost certain, he couldn't diagnose me on the spot because he probably had to go in-depth through the PCL-R in a few sessions. But that was enough for me, 2 people in the world knowing about me was enough. I was also a bit paranoid about the consequences of some things I said, so I decided to let it go.

So to finally answer your question, I agree with /u/lowempathy with disbelief.

/r/sociopath Thread