I've read all the other comments, and honestly I think people are reading WAY too much into this short Convo you two had and the information you've presented. Someone having ONE bad reaction is not 'toxic'. Whatever your guys past, the two of you have agreed to try bdsm. That means you're both learning, not just about HOW to do this new relationship but how each of you wants it to look and feel. And that shit takes time!

My Daddy and I literally had a few conversations that looked exactly like this in the very beginning. Why? Because I'm a brat, and he's brand new to bdsm. A lot of the brats on here are masochistic, so maybe they view what you said as 'mild'. But in all actuality, you insulted him and his efforts at something he's brand new to and just discovering (from a vanilla standpoint). It's also good to remember that mood and tone are not conveyed easily thought text.

That's why I suggested finding different ways to brat. It's exactly what I did, and things are just fine in my dynamic.

Good luck!