Continuing:

I remember one thing vividly when I was sitting at our table eating food alone and staring at my mothers door way to her room wall. I don't know why but I was just staring at the wall, I turn my head and see the negative of a tall mall smiling at me. It was like when you stare at someone and you look away and you can see their negative all green, but it happened with literally nothing just a blank wall.

It was around winter now so I noticed my heavier coat was missing, I wanted to walk my dog and smoke a cigarette but I had to grab a lighter one. On the way back I notice something on the a.c unit behind my bedroom window , my jacket neatly folded on top of it. I grab it and fuck off back inside.

My ex saw an old woman dressed in black standing outside our door while driving in, in the few seconds it took for him to get into his parking space she was gone, and given the layout of the apt it was impossible for her to run out of site.

Nightmares start becoming a common occurrence and I start waking up to fits of sleep paralysis. I know they say seeing weird shit comes along with it but sometimes I would see a shadowy figure directly over me.

All this starts weighting down on me and I'm hearing the door knock when I none is out their, the doors that were locked and now unlocked, my favorite shot glass went from the cabinet to inside the garbage disposal.

I start feeling just angry for no reason now and I'm assuming it's because of the stress at work, my failing relationship my mothers condition getting worse and this problem at the apt.

The switch was so slow that I couldn't tell it was happening until I was already lost in it.

One thing I notice wrong was how I was behaving, very emotional very petty, mean, demanding, cold. Just things that aren't normal. And I remember thinking "why am I mad? Why am I starting a fight I'm not upset" but by then it was too late I would snap back in the middle of a very heated argument and you can't just say "oh my bad" at that point. (I tried )

Now given that I'm Mexican I can't speak fluent Spanish When things became apparent we are at this sushi restaurant near Mexico so it's not rare for most businesses to only speak Spanish, and we would usually get by with pointing at the menu.

I have a full conversation with this man about god knows what, and my ex is mad because I lied about not knowing Spanish. I told him something along the lines of "I hope you get hurt" and the chopstick sends a splinter flying to his eye and he is in major pain. I wanted to help him but I just laugh, like it's the funniest shit in the world all why thinking "wtf why am I doing this this isn't right this isn't me wtf " And then it clicks and I just got into autopilot for the rest of the dinner. Ex is pissed and wants to leave early and that's understandable.

On the drive home I keep thinking "there is something attached to me, something is in me, this isn't human, I need to tell him to help me" and I can't talk. I'm just staring at him and it felt like I was ready to kill him, all these background thought just started flying through of "punch him! Grab the wheel! Bite his face off! Make him bleed!" Then just the feeling of my face got and I'm smiling and he can't look at me. Then I hear it "you wanted to see me... so here I am... look at me" over and over and over again.

I'm trying so hard to voice out the words "I think something is on me" and I fight so hard till when I finally do my voice is so weak and trembly that I'm at the point of tears and I think it clicked at the moment right away.

So he's like "oh shit!" And I just feel angry again. Then we get home and he talks to my mother.