In the past I was this way. There had been a few things stopping me.

First was the fear they would push medications on me. I tried them in the past and had horrible side-effects. I was not willing to mess with them again.

Second was the belief that things would never get better, even if I did seek help. I would just be wasting their time and my money.

Third was that I had sought help in my earlier years, and the results were disastrous. With one therapist she linked my artwork to traumas so that whenever I would draw I would experience flashbacks and panic attacks. I stopped being able to draw and it cost me a scholarship and career path. With another therapist she engaged in progressively more inappropriate touch during sessions, and I feared encountering a repeat of that.