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I've tried writing somewhat of an idea a few times now on why you can't get into the series and what got me into it, but really it comes down to this; Do you want to play a game that is about light Empire Building and Tactical Battles or a game about Reflex and knowledge ?

I ask this, after only recently playing Mass Recall on the hardest difficulty all the way through and then coming back to Total War.

The difference is in the scale and scope of the game, in Starcraft/COH/Dawn Of War/Warcraft, you are planning/winning much smaller and much faster engagements in a smaller area that rely on higher APM and thorough knowledge to win competitively, Total War is different in that its a game that takes a more laid back approach to the Macro side of RTS, but makes the micro take place over a much larger scale.

This increased scale is what makes the big difference, instead of blobbing and speed that wins many other RTS games, the Total War series puts emphasis on winning ground, and knowing where to give it up. As well as planning unit actions carefully in advance and also further actions when those units are committed, its about trying to turn a situation where you are outnumbered 3-1 into a victory for you by using terrain and carefully planning out where and when you will commit forces.

I think based on your post its not the Tactical side that you are not liking its the build up before hand, and when the combat begins its the ease of the win you may later get; if you feel like you are spending too much time idle then I can offer you three pieces of potential advice that are for either Singleplayer/Multiplayer :

1.) You are playing on too low a difficulty for you personally; this one is important because on higher difficulties such as legendary you will face far more challenges because the AI will get many more buffs than normal and thus be able to field far bigger armies than you with the same amount of territory, this might sound unfair in that regard, but this difficulty is the best for people who like intensive micro in RTS and even Total War games because timing both on and off the battlefield becomes a far more important thing.

2.) Use Mods; many people, myself included argue that in some ways the Vanilla game is far too easy, be it like of unit diversity leading to cheese builds, be it bland stats and implementation on certain units, be it AI unit recruitment. There are a whole host of systems some players may like and others vehemently dislike, due to workshop integration however you can find allot of ways to tweak the game personally that might make it more interactive for you as a player.

3.) You are mainly a Multiplayer person only; I saved this one for last for a reason, because there is a core group of people that exclusively play Multiplayer, there are many reasons for this but in essence, the battle system of Total War is at its best when you play against a human opponent; Those tactics you think you know might mean nothing against a Total War Vet, its hard to encapsulate every reason as to why, but it comes down to that person knowing the same things as you, see a hill on your right flank whoever secures it first has an advantage, spent more money on certain units, well your lines might now be smaller and thus more easy to flank; Its kinda like playing a game of action and reaction until one of you wins, that might not sound so fun in that context but on the field these things are happening in rapid pace so times flies.

I could write more and go into detail on certain points but if none of these do it for you then I suppose you need to first ask yourself why you wanted to get into the series to begin with.