cracks knuckles

Alright SPOILER ALERT... here's what I didn't like about the movie that totally killed it for me:

• everyone knows exactly what and where the dark tower is... clearly it is there to protect the universe from the darkness. Protector of the universe as we know it. (Presumably from todash space but that's not really explained)
• Roland's purpose is to kill the man in black... not to protect the tower... just cause he hates that guy
• Roland doesn't seem to really care about the tower -the man in black doesn't serve the red king... if the tower falls then all of the darkness (todash space) will bend to his will... because... reasons?
• the true threat that will bring down the tower is jake... for reasons...? He's a super psychic just because... plot device reasons....?
• Roland is a tortured secondary character
• Roland reluctantly accepts his gunslinger heritage... -Roland doesn't tell people he is a gunslinger... believes his culture is dead... doesn't share his culture without severe prying -Roland hasn't recited the oath since he was very young
• the story is all about how the man in black is using psychic kids as siege rounds to shoot at the dark tower... jake is the "mother of all rounds" to shoot at the tower that will ultimately bring it down
• Roland is reluctant to care about jake
• jake has a dead father that he is totally in love with... no idea why -jake doesn't like his step dad -Jake totally loves his mother -Jake has no house keeper to lean on -jake makes no attempt to hide his "madness" from his parents... or anyone really. -Jake finds the house with the entry to midworld over the internet... not a supernatural connection to Roland -the house demon is glossed over and easily defeated -the entry to midworld in the house is a sombra tech door to mid world... being guarded by the house Demon... opened with a key pad that anyone can access -there's some random neighbor kid that is jake's friend and in all of his family's business for no reason... not fully explained... like someone who was supposed to be Eddie but didn't pan into out
• the taheen are the only other protagonist and they sub in for the wolves of Callah... also glossed over
• the man in black has the maerlyn rainbow but it's never explained... they might as well be shaman charms... extra ingredients or technology behind his magic -the man in black doesn't really take a lot of pleasure in people suffering... sort of... he really seems to mow people down quickly and is a very two dimensional psychopath... not very deep. -the reason Roland hates Walter isn't cuckholding it's because they were fighting a war against Walter and he killed Roland's father ... it's not really explained in the books how steven dechain died. -midworld as a whole is glossed over quickly and most of the movie takes place in NY... midworld just kind of serves as a way to get Roland to NY to face the man in black.
• Roland and Walter have a show down that we probably would have appreciated if the movie would have been good... in comparison to how robbed we were in the book series... however it's glossed over and feels rushed as well and by that point you've probably given up hope -Easter eggs all over the place... yay... but it's all totally drown out by everything else -no mention of the David, Cort, cuthbert, Alaine, red king, Eddie, susana, oy, ka, ka-tets, a way for Roland to get to a drawing of 3 situation, muties, thinny, circle demons, blain, lud, tull, anything that seems like mordred, Roland's mother, susan, the good man, hambry, sheemie (which really surprised me... if you're bringing in "beam breaking" elements)... oh yeah they don't mention beams at all really... and they make it seem like traveling between New York and mid world is just walking through a door with the right code... no big deal and anyone can do it if they wanted to. -Roland didn't have the horn of eld -Jake never dies... their connection is purely coincidental it appears.