One year my dad didn't let my mom remind all us kids that his birthday was coming up. We were so self-centered no one noticed until about a week after the day had passed. It was such a harsh lesson none of us forgot again, and it was important for us to realize our dad was a person like us who needed some recognition apart from when he was buying the gifts. So, what you're feeling may just be an educational opportunity for your family. I hope you talk to them instead of making them all feel like little leeches though. And you can't expect them to read your mind. Also - work some additional quality time traditions into your holidays to take emphasis off the gifting. Maybe start a Christmas day hike tradition or something positive and healthy that will create low-cost memories. It will be better for all of you.