Ticketer: ( Hands Ted a ticket which is literally smoking) There. Have a nice trip. FLASHBACK: STRIKER. VOICE: Striker, this is red leader 4. Primary target covered by fog. Decision to proceed is yours. decision to proceed IS YOURS. IS YOUUUURRRRS... YOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head! Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE OR I WILL PUNCH HIM. Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man! Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT. Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol. Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP BEING SORRY. Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'. Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL CHOICE. Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em. Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY, WEALTHY AND WISE. Together: Col' got to be! Yo! Subtitle: HOW TRUE! Together: Sheeeeeeet! Subtitle: GOLLY. SIGN ON PLANE LIGHTS UP ø__________________________‚ 1 NO SMOKING 1 1 El NO A YOU SMOKO 1 1 1 1 FASTEN SEATBELTS 1 1 PUTANA DA SEATBELTZ 1 Z__________________________O Oldlady : Nervous? Striker : Yes. Oldlady : First time? Striker : NO, I've been nervous lots of times. Elaine : Hi, we'll be taking off real soon. SO I'd better fasten you in tight. Dyingirl: Thank you. Oh, mother this is so exciting. Mother : I know, but you must get some rest. Elaine : That's good advice. You relax and I'll be back right after we take off. Lovelorn: God Bill. I am going to miss you so much. Leaving : Oh, I'm gonna miss you too. Promise you'll write?? Lovelorn: SIGH . . . Every day. Bill... Conductr: Better get on board son. All aboard!!!!! Oever : 209er to ground control. We're loaded and ready to taxi. Lovelorn: Goodbye Bill! Leaving : Goodbye darling. I love you darling. Tower : 2-0-9er, taxi to runway 1-9er. Leaving : Goodbye darling. Lovelorn: Have your picture taken the minute you get there. And send me one, alright? Leaving : Okay, here, hurry. ( he throws her his watch as she runs along the side of the taxiing plane. ) Lovelorn: Oh, but your watch, but you shouldn't. You're gonna need this! Leaving : Its alright. It doesn't work. Lovelorn: Bill! Leaving : Goodbye darling. Lovelorn: Bill! ( Knocks over light tower while running ) Bill! Bill! I'll keep it with me all the time, I swear to you. Leaving : I know darling, take care of yourself, goodbye. Tower : Flight 2-0-9er, you're cleared for take off. Oever : Roger! Murdock : Huh? Tower : L.A. departure frequency 1-2-3 point 9er. Oever : Roger! Murdock : Huh? : Re-quest Vector, over! Oever : What? Tower : 2-0-9er clear for vector 2-3-4. Murdock : We have clearance Clarence. Oever : Roger, Roger. What's our Vector Victor? Tower : Tower's radio clearance, over! Oever : That's Clarence Oever! Oever. Tower : Roger. Murdock : Huh? Tower : Roger, over. Murdock : Huh? Oever : Huh? Attendnt: DO you feel alright sir? Striker : Oh, I haven't flown for a long time. Oever : Good evening ladies and gentleman, this is Captain Oever speaking. Well, be cruising at 36,000 feet this evening. Our arrival time in Chicago will be 10:45 pm central time. The temperature there is currently 62 degrees with a 20% chance of precipitation. Meanwhile, relax and enjoy your flight. Elaine : Would you like something to read? Oldlady: Do you have anything light? Elaine : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... how about this leaflet, famous Jewish sports legends? Oldlady: Yes, thank you. Elaine : Teeeeeeeeeeeed!?! What are you doing here? Striker: Elaine, I've got to talk to you! Elaine : Y-Y-Yo-You shouldn't have come, I don't have time now! Oldlady: Stewardess . . . Elaine : Excuse me! Oldlady: No wonder you're upset! She's lovely! And a darling figure. Supple pouting breasts. . . firm thighs . . . its a shame you two don't get along. Striker: Yes, I know, things used to be different. I remember when we first met. It was during the war. ( Flashback) I was in the Air Force stationed in Drambui, off the Barbary coast. I used to hang out at the Magumba bar. It was a rough place, the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cut-throat from Bombay to Calcutta. Its worse than Detroit. The mood in the place was downright ugly. You wouldn't walk in there unless you knew how to use your fists. You could count on a fight breaking out almost every night. ( fight between two women breaks out. Chairs are crashed . . .) ( Saturday Night Fever music starts to play when juke box is clobbered I didn't go there that night to fall in love I just dropped in for a couple of drinks. But, suddenly there she was. I was captivated, entranced. It hit me like a thunderbolt. I had to ask the guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I was afraid to approach her, but that night fate was on my side. ( The man Elaine is dancing with gets a knife in his back. He tries to ascertain help from Elaine by pointing with both hands at his back, but Elaine thinks that this is a new dance move and mimics him. He collapses and dies. Striker begins to dance disco style with Elaine, soon a crowd gathers to watch. Both Ted and Elaine dance in humanly impossible ways. The crowd cheers. Next the bar is empty, and its the end of the night. Ted and Elaine are still there with the 2 fighting women. ( end flashback ) We laughed, we talked, we danced I never wanted it to end. I guess I still don't. But, enough about me, I hope this hasn't been boring for you. Its just that whenever I talk about Elaine, I get so carried away, I loose all track of time. ( Oldlady has hung herself ) Elaine : Would you like to order dinner now? Father : Yes, Joey will have the steak and my wife and I will have the fish. Joey : When can I see the cockpit dad? Father : Joey, I think the pilots are probably too busy flying the plane for that. Joey : Awww, geee whiz!!!!!!!!!! Elaine : I'll tell you what Joey, I'll talk to the Captain and see what I can arrange. Joey : Gee, that'd be swell! Elaine : Would you gentleman care to order your dinners? Jiveman1: Bet babe, slide a piece a da porter, drink si' run th' java. Subtitle: I WOULD LIKE THE STEAK PLEASE. Jiveman2: Lookie here, I can dig grease and butter on some draggin' fruit garden. Subtitle: I'LL HAVE THE FISH. littlboy: Excuse me, I happened to be passing and I thought you might like some coffee. littgirl: Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you. Oh, won't you sit down? Littlboy: Oh thank you. Cream? Littgirl: No thank you, I take it black . . . . . . lik