It's hard to tell you where it began and ended.

I've never told the story though, let's see what I can remember now. For reference, I was adjacent to a pretty successful rc distro which left me with a lot of access and as things in life started to go south my personal usage went north (way, way north). Benzos weren't ever something I had much interest in so I figured I was invincible to them which I think is something a lot of people confuse in the rc realm - I suspect I'm not the only person here who could try to Explain the feeling of reckless c-lam detox, haha.

It was really like falling into dreams while awake. I never knew when it was happening because I was so trashed - trashed enough to forget to take more c-lam. I remember seeing words being written on the wall in pencil and sitting for an indeterminate amount of time reading the story that was forming. It was weird and I remember it vividly. It's not worth retelling, but as the story became more and more real and visual I distinctly remember waking up back in reality and not having any idea that what I had just experienced didn't happen. So I would wake up in this place under the impression that days had just passed and all of those things I was reading/seeing/definitely hallucinating were actual events. This kept happening over 3 days and every time I slipped out of reality, I came back thinking I was now days older than I was before. I don't think I was eating or drinking much during this time either, because I was pretty convinced a steady diet of hex and 3meopcp vaporized in the same chamber was tending to all of my body's physical needs (I was in a pretty dark place).

Eventually I snapped out of it long enough to pick up the phone and call someone. That was as good as any other way to ground myself for enough time to write down in big, clearly readable letters "C-LAM" on my hand. I wish I could say that this was the end of it (it wasn't) but giving myself a persistent and unavoidable visual reminder at least kept me from leaving the house or doing anything drastic. I did eventually end up having to make an appearance at the local psychiatric hospital but can you blame me? They didn't believe me when I told them about the space drug with a 200 hour half life though, and to be fair I dont think I'd believe anyone in the state I was in making the claims I was making either.

In the aftermath of all of this I pretty much torpedoed everything in my life at the time though, one way or another. Still am pretty much a sunk battleship on most days, but I'm reasonably clean and sober now. Not that it matters, cuz 2 weeks before this I lost like $150k in btc to a former family member and about 3 weeks after this they had to chop one of my nuts off due to a torsion experienced in a homeless shelter. I wonder some days if I died during all of this insanity, and I am now subjectively experiencing what the theists call Hell.