That is an amazing story. Maybe not a story worth $4 mill, but a helluva story regardless. It demonstrates many good qualities about you: willingness to work hard, commitment to your word, and paying your debts to others. It also shows the ephemeral nature of money.

It doesn’t sound like you enjoyed the journey overmuch though. Not a lot of fun to be found in the grind although some personal growth obviously occurred. My advice, which is worth less than your nuked portfolio, would be to take a minute and just be with yourself. Don’t set off on another crusade immediately. Spend a little time alone and look into yourself. Who are you?

If the answer is a person gifted at making money, you’ve already proven that you know how to do that, although hanging onto it is a crap shoot. If the answer is anything else, now is your time and like all of us, your time is always diminishing.

I have sometimes returned home after a trip and been weirdly disappointed that my house didn’t burn down while I was away. Thoreau said your possessions end up possessing you. Right now, you are free. Take a breath and consider your next act. Who knows, it may be your last. Is it grinding out another fortune or something else? If you have any latent dreams, this may be the beginning of the greatest days of your life and you may look back on the crypto crash as a blessing. It’s all temporary. Enjoy being alive while you can, however that looks to you.

I wish you more than luck.