I'm not sure where you're getting that from. Are you comparing a guy who has a crush on a girl to a girl who has a ten year relationship and back story with a guy? Those two things are entirely different. After ten years the bond between a couple is like family, but maybe that's a difficult thing for you to grasp becasue as you state yourself,
I knew you would use that as some "oh you don't understand anyways" shit.
So if you bond with a person like family, it's OK to force then to stay with you? Sounds great. I just love your idea of love and family. It's fucking abusive and parasitic.
i want to highlight your lack of experience on this matter. Hypothesis is not what happens in reality and you are misunderstanding what this woman is saying - She is asking for help, recognizing that it might be coming from a place of "denial" and asking for help. Nobody is giving her what she wants, she will not get what she wants, and so she will have to deal with the denial. She shouldn't be chastised or shamed for it.
You have no idea what my "experiences" are so stop playing that fucking card.
Yes, the other user suggested that she try to convince him that she needs him. That's kind of what she wants. How can you sit there and fucking lie to me like that? Or did you not read other comments before saying that?
She probably will get what she wants. If he does succeed in leaving, she will use some legal action to chain him to her at least financially. I know more about your sick twisted fucking "love" then you think.
Yes I believe she should be shamed for wanting to fucking OWN a person like that. But no, we can't criticize her. It's mean, for her. Wonder why it's mean for HER.
Then you start jumping to wild conclusions about marriage.
Not wild conclusions. Never being married doesn't mean I've never seen marriage. It's ownership. It's a twisted contract pushed on people in different ways throughout history. You are not the same person you were 10 years ago nor am i. Only a fucking MONSTER tries to own a person based on a choice made by playing on their emotions 10 years ago.
No. My kind of "love" is the kind that engages with people in a humane way. Everybody makes mistakes. I have hurt people in the past becasue I was damaged. I understand it and I'm working on myself. This woman is making a mistake in trying to cling to something that is finished. She should concentrate on herself. You are making a mistake in being so hard and punitive on people who need help and guidance. You are trying to work on that.
She's not trying to work on herself. She's already got her hooks in. Stop trying to make her the poor lovestruck victim. His life is over. Even if he gets away, she has legal authority to own his fucking life at least in some way. Probably child support and alimony if he does get away.
But no, no empathy for him. Men don't have feelings anyways. Just animals, just objects for your emotional fucking needs.
You know nothing about this woman or her relationship. Why do you say that "she pressured him....". That in itself is fairly illogical.
That's what marriage is. It's pressured on us by society. She likely pressured him too. Sorry if you don't like me saying that, we both know the routine.
"Are you not serious about this? Do you think I just want your money? Don't you trust me?"
Yes, establish love and trust with a legally binding contract. It's always pressured on people because nobody would willingly do that shit. You can be in love without holding each other hostage legally, I hope.
I still fail to see where manipulation or "ownership" come into this matter. We can have wants and desires, for example I'm waiting to hear back after a job interview. I want the job. Doesn't mean I'll get it. This woman wants her relationship, doesn't mean she will get it. There is no manipulation. The majority of advice from people here is deal with the fact that the relationship is over. There's absolutely no need to be mean to her.
No reason except the fact that she's trying and will probably succeed in either "keeping" or at least ruining a person's life. Fuck her. It's ownership because it's a fucking contract saying you own each other's genitals and can take legal action if you find comfort with others or try to leave the deal. It's fucking ownership. You are not who you were a decade ago, neither am i.
Maybe ask more questions of people and clarify before going on the attack if they "rub you up the wrong way". Empathy goes a long way.
Asking her how she feels or trying to get her to see it another way won't matter. The law is on her side, as is society. She will get at least some of what she wants, taking it from somebody else in the process.
No empathy for him, but you sure love to say I should exercise it.
I don't empathize with a person crying that they lost their favorite slave when their trying to get then back.
I guess you mean "fuck marriage too"? Personally, I don't believe in marriage, I don't want kids, I don't value "traditional" ways of life. However, I made a commitment to some people once in a property matter. I had dreams for that home, spent years putting down foundations and growing those seeds of hope for the future. The those people decided they wanted me out. They didn't want to mediate or engage with me about other possibilities. I had to leave and it was absolutely heartbreaking. Loss and grief can come in various ways but the human emotional responses are pretty much universal.
You don't like marriage, you simply defend the sick practice.
Oh yeah, same thing. It's just like a property ownership contract, and his lasts a lifetime. And they are both the property, but kind of more him because she can leave without legal recourse when she wants.
Same thing.
If this woman has experienced the death of a loved one this experience could be triggering all sorts of feelings attached to bereavement. Just try and have some compassion. You know nothing about her.
You know nothing about "him" yet you seem to have no compassion for him. I guess it's a pick and choose thing.
Oh yes, her dad or something died so now it's OK if she tries to manipulate people into forming the social structure she wants, likely centered around her. God I feel sorry for the kids.