exonyms

A great example is "Calcutta" vs. "Kolkata". The Bengali name never changed, but I'd hope that everyone could agree that "Calcutta" was a bit of a butchering and a subtle form of cultural erasure.

Also, a year or two ago I sat next to a Greek man on a plane and learned that the Greek term for what we call Greece is "Helles", pronounced something like "ah loss". I felt silly for not even knowing that given how famous much of Greek art and culture is in the West.

I do try to respect endonyms when I can to honor that place's history and culture.

parmigiana di melanzane

Is actually a very interesting point that I'm glad you bring up—"melanzane" and "eggplant" are both words for the same thing that already exist in two languages. I said "parmigiana" because that's what I understood to be the Italian word for things in that style. (I wouldn't call it "parmesan", personally.) I'm simply speaking in English—and still using the same term as in Italian for a thing that exists in Italy and which is the same name they call it there.

This gets back to my point: there's no "curry" in any native Indian language. It's a thing made up by the British.

Adding to the confusion is the "curry leaf", a.k.a. sweet neem, which is not usually used in "curries".

And then there's "Thai curry", although that does have an equivalent native term "kaeng".

You've still answered none of my questions...

Bottom line: using "curry" for Indian food is imprecise, not authentic, and has sketchy colonial origins, so I still think it best to stay away from, personally.