May 25, 2015 writing critique (post here if you'd like a critique)

Title: TBA/Undecided Genre: Fiction/Horror/Fantasy Word count: 323 Feedback desired: General

(This is considerably short so I'm hoping that just pasting it into this comment won't be an issue? Apologies if I'm mistaken. Also, I'm pretty new to writing, and to posting on here.)

Seraphina Persephone, a name like a song.

Or at least, that's what she went by. Good Riddance, she'd say to trashing her family name, and not just for the aesthetic of such. Family, of which she was the youngest, the runt of the litter, regrettably born the last of eight on a bitter and cold day some centuries ago, when the clouds hid away the light and the after-rain fog obscured the view of the unborn gardens that had been bitten by a prolonged winter.

Seraphina could not be considered by any means conventionally attractive, in fact she'd be more accurately described as having an odd or funny face. Bambi eyes and an unusually strong jaw, plump cheeks and pouty lips but still with a default expression that made her seem as though she saw herself as above the rest, and being short with an uneven ratio between a small bust and curvy hips did not at all help. But despite being picked on by her siblings as a child for having a freckled face and full eyebrows, with the addition of the nickname Bunnyteeth, she still carried herself with a certain seemingly confident and comfortable grace and risque that made her approachable, and gifted her with the ability to charm and drop any man to her heels, if she chose to, a Femme Fatale of sorts.

Now, she stood just outside the border of her hometown, her auburn hair blowing lightly in the Spring wind. The smell of freshly blossomed flowers was present in the air, and the sun shone down through the trees and onto the cobblestone roads she'd come to know as a child. It was one of those days when the weather was bliss, enjoyably warm enough though every now and then a soft breeze would come by, encouraging you to breathe. How unfitting she'd thought to herself, her chartreuse eyes glancing over hestitantly to the iron sign as she breathed a miserable sigh. "Welcome to Weepingwoode."

/r/writing Thread