Was 18-20.

Didn't hang out with many outside of work.

Didn't have much of a family at that point either. Part me having a terrible attitude, part me using drugs, part my family not being so well put-together themselves.

The few I did hang out with at work, were male alcoholics. One of whom was my boss.

At this point in my life I was basically a full blown addict and alcoholic, or at least that's how I used/drank. Just like coworkers. We'd smoke weed at work on breaks, and once 4pm hit when everyone was gone we'd start drinking.

Boss and I end up getting close. Not in a romantic way, just in a way where since my own dad wasn't around, he helped me out with shit I guess I would've gone to my father for.

Very long story short, he was an extremely closeted homosexual (I knew this, the only one who knew this, and didn't much care) and I woke up to him with his hands in my shorts bc I got too fucked up at work on a Friday and between the pain pills and booze I couldn't move. Couple years of friendship turned into pretty severe trust issues still lasting in my everyday life. Turns out despite me being and him knowing I was 100% straight, his loneliness eluded him into thinking maybe there was something there (he was in his 40s)

Next morning wasn't even sure it happened, thought it was some kind of fucked up dream. Until I caught him in text messages admitting to it.

Worked for him for another year before I went to rehab.

Funny thing was (not that funny) it took me until rehab to sit down with a psychologist and go over the relationship I had with my mother and with some hypnosis and therapy, found out she had made me have sex with her when I was 8. Until I was about 12. Completely blocked it out when I got older, right around the time I started taking hard drugs.

Today things are better. Not perfect by any means, but better.