I've been there, girl. Believe me.

I was in emotional pain so strong it became physical & I was in physical pain all the time. Was 'bedridden' for months, months, no one knew or cared. I lived off of my savings.

I ended up calling my mom one day because I realized I needed help. She brought along my stepdad who proceeded to choke me during a verbal disagreement. I called the police, my mom lied and said I attacked him. I was arrested, but taken to a mental health facility.

At this facility, I was medicated & treated for the first time. I was given medecine that stabilized me. After a few months of this medication, I was slowly able to leave bed for longer periods of time.

It took around 6 months of medecine & rest to recuperate enough so that simply bathing myself wasnt an excruciatingly hard task. I had crawled back from an abyss.

Sister, you need medecine. Maybe just to help you deal with this, then go off of it when you're better. Were lucky, since sex workers dont declare an income, we often qualify for free state insurance. You most likely won't have to pay a dime.

Please dont hesitate to message me if you want help figuring out how to get treatment. I would be happy to do the research for you.