Elie Wiesel authored a book entitled Night in which he described his experiences before, during and immediately after life in Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps. I highly value this book.

Anyways, in it, he details how the Jewish men and women became like animals on the death train ride to the concentration camps. They knew what was to become of the vast majority of them. They fucked without a care in the world. They had no care in the world. They took their liberties and lost themselves in the moment.

When I was 16 I lost several basketball teammates in a car accident. Literally, the other four members of my starting five were killed. Instantly. My coach was killed. My first real girlfriend was killed.

I had had a crush on another girl close to the team. We gave each other our virginity when we were completely traumatized in the immediate aftermath. It was rough. It was raw. But it was emotive. Easily the most emotional sex I've ever had. Nothing has replicated it since and probably never will.

I no longer have contact with the girl. It's sad but the same things that drew us close enough to do it like that were also what drove us away from one another.