I’m a gamer that has recently realized the ones that I loved that were closest to me don’t actually love me back. I’ve realized that a lot of people that I’ve met growing up have either talked shit behind my back, turned their back against me, or looked down on me and left me alone. Nobody really cares deep down even though I care about them a lot. Like, I might think someone is really cool and genuine and I would stick up for them but they wouldn’t do the same and might not feel the same way about me. Nobody in my circles has ever really been on my team besides my relationship partner or current best friend. I don’t like making friends because they always end up leaving me behind by stabbing me in the back or they change their mind about me if I’m not being energetic or positive. Whenever I’m not being positive in a group, most people assume the worst about me as if I don’t like them and Ive felt how that makes people uncomfortable so I’d rather be alone. I’ve learned that this is part of life and despite all that’s happened, I won’t let that stop me from being friendly or at least I’ll try.