My moms in pain and im basically a loser
Moms is in pain
My mother got into multiple accidents on the job she drives for access a ride the “side portion of the MTA” back in 2013 the bus she was driving didn’t have any breaks she reported it and the jobs mechanic did not believe her, until he tried the vehicle himself and it immediately showed it’s problems by almost killing himself in it, after which, my mom went to the doctor and they noticed her right foot was fractured from heel to toe because of how hard she was pressing the brakes that day. Besides that, she’s been on “paid leave” but she’s gotten into more than one accident at the job that was all bus issue related I can’t really remember i gotta ask her again for the other accidents.
With her original doctor or doctor provided by the job she told me that there was an additional lawsuit going on for the fact that the first surgery she had wasn’t supposed to happen and that the doctors utilized wood screws to seal the fracture
Throughout this she has fallen multiple times and broken more of her body while in the process of healing her foot. The cast plus the extremely addictive meds they gave her for pain ( opioid crisis )
She survived the crisis which brung me joy (because she was abusing me really badly at that time like a little bit before she found out her foot was broken, they gave her meds first and my moms off them drugs beat the fuck outta me for little things and i couldn’t understand for the life of me but im strong I LOVE MY MOMS shes definitely my fucking hero in life, I finally understand and it’s crazy how much shes been through and still going through). Got kicked out at 19. I moved into an apt. My moms left her husband for multiple reasons. I offered for her to move in with me besides going into the shelter (but at the time i was very paranoid and angry I kept losing jobs back and forth was doing drugs that basically wasn’t helping my situation) still at the same apt. my mom under goes surgery due to the other injuries during the original foot problem. Found out by doctors that her back is broken as well. They only focused on her foot at the time because it was the only thing bothering her (time goes by.) moms in rehab/shelter for the pills. She started smoking and drinking instead. Caused her to behave kinda mean like when she was on the pills and i lashed out at her for it. Regret everything said and done. Time goes by i kick my roommate out after like almost 3 years. Them 3 year felt like 6-8 started off sweet and just went and stayed sour.
From idk why i can remember the year im stressed and a little drunk. She was in the hospital then i quit my job like a couple of months before covid started dropping niggas. covid hit. She had a very extremely low percent survival rate surgery on my moms during covid. After that she went back into the shelter/rhab because she started drinking and smoking to make herself numb to the pain but she slept alot got bigger.
In the shelter still 2021. 2022 got herself a place out of all of this bs sober and still waiting for surgery’s and all i wanna do is help im M27 i feel like a failure in life for the fact that i cant be in a position to help my moms im just sitting here drinking smoking and feeling bad. I got my drivers license recently and i started going back to school for my ged but i got kicked out for coming late and because i missed 3 days total i guess from bmcc Not saying i didn’t apply myself for jobs but you know how it can be no reply except for them slave labor places amazon fedex. the waiting game. Other/ most jobs just new slavery and its hurting me too but fuck me i guess. Idk what more to say i just feel like shit and feel like ive done nothing for my mother snd that as a 3rd person perspective view is sad and distasteful im crying to the void on my throw away account not for karma but just to vent i have no one to really personally talk to on this topic without ignorance ie family or properly reciprocate and sympathize/ empathize with on that. because my roommate was my best friend and i killed that relationship they were being dumb without any forethought and i was fed. Moms got her own place shes constantly having body pain and headaches and back pain i wanna help but dont know how at the moment