Ah jeez. Thank you for sharing. The timing is absolutely crazy, I’m so sorry.

My mom passed this year after a few years no contact and taking turns frantically trying to reach the other as the other gave the cold shoulder. Got a call from the hospital at 3am, took the next flight out, and got to exchange I love yous for the first time in years before she lost consciousness.

Your point about release is reassuring, although it’s so painful. I have flashes of hypothetical her, sober, retired, still feisty, living nearby, enjoying my cakes and cookies at holidays with me and my partner and friends. She wanted that so bad. I just pretend she’s still with me, sober, normal her