This sounds a lot like me. The problem is, mom is an alcoholic and cannot see anything beyond her alcoholism. She cannot see what pleasure can be gained from other activities. And maybe she feels she doesn't deserve them -- especially from her kid. Maybe she feels too much pressure to change or recognizes her shortcomings and so when events come up, she drinks more.

I'm not excusing her behavior, though. I've fallen into this trap before, thinking that I can show my mom the world. But my mom is hiding from the world in her addictions.

It was this all-or-nothing mentality with me. You can still be there for your mom by calling and checking up on her, sending cards or letters. But giving her these lavish gifts and then expecting her to behave a certain way is a sign of codependency. It's a sign of manipulation, of trying to help. But you can not cure her addiction, even if you did all the things she says she needs/wants.