She is the only support mechanism I had for a huge part of my life. We lost that connection when she got married. I don't think I am really that strong to face actual confrontation. Walking out of this marriage will come with a lot of that, and I don't know if I can handle it.
I am not blaming my boyfriend. He was the sweetest and the best thing to ever happen in my life. And I am never going to blame my friend either. When I found they were together, I told both of them, I was okay with it and actually happy for them. They still slowly moved away from me. Honestly I just miss my ex and my best friend. I don't know.
She was definitely toxic. She hasn't been much of a problem since we moved away from her. But she still has a lot of control over my husband. My husband still listens to her more than he listens to me.
It is not just about the lie, but also how he never supported me. When we had arguments when I was clearly in the right and his mother is in the wrong, he will still side with her. I wish he was more supportive than that.
I'm not proud of it, but it did help me over come by issues for this long. Are there really therapists that you can go and talk and vent to in India the way they show in Hollywood movies sometimes?
I will lose everyone if I go for divorce. I am already feeling like I have no one in my life, if I lose the ones I have, I think I will just die of loneliness and abandonment.
I really appreciate your advices and opinions. I really can't put it into words how good I felt just reading them. I just felt like I was heard. Thank you.