Dude im not sure if this is just a troll or some brainwashed fat feminist men-hating virgin lady, but dont listen to this shit. You have done nothing wrong, and through your post you honestly seem super emphatic and genuine. If after 5 years your gf breaks up with you randomly after 3 days of not seeing each other and without even talking to you, she is just crazy and delusional and you would have figured it out by now. Its a much deeper problem and i dont think this is at all your fault and has nothing to do with the holidays, it just helped it come out and would have happened later. Just didnt want you to beat yourself up and feel bad about the nonsensical comments this idiot left, cause again, im 99.99% sure this has nothing to do with the holidays, and you have done nothing wrong by going to see your family. Also, you should never ever be expected to put your wife above your closest family, if you have good family relations. At best they should all be at the same level. Hope you feel better my man, im kind of in a similar position with my gf, so hit me up on reddit if you wanna talk.