You're still trying to understand with the mind. The second you try to conceptualize reality is the second you step out of it. We experience what feels to be the transition from future to past because that's all there is. The now is the moment before a conceptual future and after the illusion of a past. The only way to connect with the past is through memory. A thought. The only way to get to a future is through thought. Your problem seems to be you're focusing on the illusion to get beyond the illusion. It's what many philosophers before called the spiritual ego. You want to look more into the "median" the thought arises in to begin with. Take a room as an example. You know the space is there. Everything arises within this space. But where is the space? You can't get to it. You can only get to the objects that arise within the space of the room. A thought is just another chair in the room. What you experience that lies beyond birth and death is this spacious consciousness. The true you. Everything else arises within.