You need to think about what is good for your life.

First concern is your body. You need food, clothing and shelter.

There was discrimination against me at work. They wanted to fire me or get me to quit. I had to stick my nose deep into people's rear ends just to keep my job. I was supporting 4 children one with diabetes. I could not allow my pride to get in the way of keeping my medical insurance.

I was abused till I finished raising my children, then I left the abusive situation.

To supply these you need work and the resources to get to work and do your job.

Make the decisions you need to make to get these necessary things and keep them.

Waaaaaaaaaay down the line is, "I had to leave because they like a cult or they want me to be what they think is a decent girl."

I am sorry you are suffering. You didn't have a good plan when you left. You may have to humble yourself and do a do-over.

Plan it out better next time and MAKE SURE it doesn't involve a romantic relationship.