Now that I'm older, I realize the joke isn't that Squidward hates his job, but that SpongeBob loves it.

No, people are fucking horrible. I've been on both sides of retail and I know for certain they are horrible. I remember an instance in Subway when a woman demanded- defuckingmanded- that her sandwich be cooked twice. The person behind the counter?

"Ma'am, it might burn the sandwich."

"Don't tell me how to cook my sandwich, I want it cooked twice." She snapped back. I swear they lowered the floors over there to make the customers more intimidating because neither of these folks were over 5'5". It's not a good day when I'm the tallest guy in the building.

So the poor sap put the sandwich back in, and surprise surprise, it was fucking burnt. The woman gave him a look.

"I guess you're new here." She says condescendingly. The guy just looks miserable. Next up her toppings. The woman demanded olives. Not just a handful, the entire fucking bucket. You're laughing, you're assuming I'm making this up. Surely no one could possibly eat so many olives. I mean, who would want that many olives?

And I reiterate, humans are fucking horrible, because I had to hear the teenager have to tell this woman in her 40s that he can only give her so many olives otherwise they lose money. The fact she has double the normal amount and probably triple the amount that's safe for human consumption on her bloated, disgusting, oil-slathered insult of food she expected the guy to call "foot long turkey" made me seethe with rage. She points to the woman helping me with my sandwich and says "Well she gives me however much I want!" like a child trying to turn her parents against each other for their love. I want to garnish the story by saying the woman was obese, or ugly, or some other thing that Reddit adores to mock on a daily basis, but sadly she was thin and petite. Just a normal woman who needed a good smack upside the head. And I'm sure you're expecting me to say "and the whole bus applauded" or however that fucking meme goes, but no. I quietly apologized to the two behind the counter after the hag left for her behavior, took my tuna sandwich, and went back to work with a new hatred for fellow man.

Frankly, I'm surprised you're so optimistic. I only spent a few months in retail (half a year as the front desk for a music instruction store and holiday work at a Macy's cleaning up after people) and I feel terrible for the people that worked there longer. You must've gotten lucky to be working with nice people. Kudos for that, at least. As for me, I always try to at least say please, thank you, and if I misread something or there's confusion with the order I take the blame for it and apologize. And that still is only the least I could do.

/r/Showerthoughts Thread Parent