(which he won't be, because if you don't believe with your heart, you aren't a Muslim), while she would have gotten all the blessings and cookie points from Allah, he would have been sent to Hell.

See here's the thing. I know that a majority of muslims fervidly believe in the concept of an after-life and the day of judgement and how this life is just a test or an illusion (if I'm correct). However this is a very muslim-centric point of view. For all that's worth, people of other religions don't really know/believe that an after life exists and that Allah will give them justice. Such claims are not based on ground reality.

For example; as a man myself I know that many men don't take rejection graciously and combined with religion, shit's not going down well. The criticism of Islam comes from the fact that historically such issues with conversion has mostly been from this side (even marginally speaking, I don't have data though. This is from my experience) because in Islam, there's a great deal of importance placed on expanding the religion.

It's also easy to connect dots when looking from a wider angle, you realize how religion and conversion are great tools to control the population and demographics.