3. Old Redditors who never found "the one," what is your life like?

Old Redditors who never found "the one," what is your life like?

I found the one when I was 20. We lived together for 2 years, I dropped college to be close to her. We were very much in love.

But I was dealing with a lot of mental problems at the time and I could tell it was really burdening for her. One day, she came home from work and found me walking around our apartment complex mumbling to myself with tear streaked cheeks. She couldn't handle what I was going through. I ended up packing up a couple of nights later. I was so guilt ridden for letting myself watch her suffering. She was still up at work when I left my note. I put my car keys on top of the page and left with a friend for home.

A couple of weeks being at home and I was such a danger to myself that I was committed into a mental health facility for 2 weeks. She tried calling me every day multiple times a day. I know this because I listened to all the messages she left on my phone.

When I got out, I tried to reach out to her but never got a response. For 7 years I went to sleep every night thinking about her. Even when new girlfriends came along, all I thought about was her. I look back and realize how selfish I was to everyone in my life. I called a few years after the whole thing happened and was greeted by another person. She had changed her number.

I finally had the nerve to look her up a few months back on facebook with every intention of spilling my emotions to her. Her page loaded up and she was married with 2 children to a guy she had gone to high school with. She looked so happy and I couldn't take that away from her. I won't try again.

It's my fault I'm alone and I'm choosing to be alone from here on out. Dating is too emotionally draining. Girls saw my daughter and ran for the hills. Others wanted me to take care of them off my meager salary.

Every now and then I look through our old emails. Poems I had written her, motivating things she had said to me. Future predictions of what our lives would be like. It's crushing but at the same time it makes me happy knowing I at least got to feel those emotions in my lifetime.

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